Do not let your eyes fall from Me

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Be:

My rock

My hiding place

My safety

The one I lean on

My guidance

My sanity

My love

My peace

My shield

My heart

My soul

My patience

My closest friend

My confidant

My healer

My provider

Mine

Jesus, you are already what I want you to be.

You never fail.

You never disappoint.

You are never late.

You are never wrong.

You are good.

Your love and mercy and grace endure.

 

You are:

My rock

My hiding place

My safety

The one I lean on

My guidance

My sanity

My love

My peace

My shield

My heart

My soul

My patience

My closest friend

My confidant

My healer

My provider

 
Mine

Lord Jesus, you are. You are.

When the storm starts raging

And my heart grows weary,

Let me always remember,

where You are,

there is peace and love unfailing.

If given a choice between a messy pile of miscellaneous items or a nicely placed set of items, which would you choose? Most likely, the nicely stacked set. You can see everything that it entails, every little detail, instantly. With the messy pile, you would have to take the time to search out everything it offers. It would be difficult to find everything out about the items; some items would be hidden, maybe some would even be damaged. Of course you would choose the nicely placed set over a mess, easy over difficulty, perfect over damaged. But how thankful I am that our God is not as we are . He sees the flaws we have, the difficulty, the damage, and instead of putting us aside because of our imperfections, he loves us, with the most perfect love that could ever exist.

1 John 4:10- This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 

My name is Jordan, and I am a worrier. This little fact explains majority of my life. It hinders me from many things and has caused me heartache, confusion, insecurity and so much more. I worry about what I should do with my life, what people think of me if I’m just me, if I’m too quiet, if I look mean, if that guy likes me, if I’m honest enough, if I really know what I’m talking about. You name it, I’m probably worrying about it. The fact that I overanalyze everything does not help the worrying either. As I’m writing this, I’m worrying that I’m being too vulnerable-what people will think if they know this is what I am always thinking. But you know what, I think that’s what I need. I have this barrier up in my life because I am terrified. Of what? I have no idea, but I’m worried about it. 

This has got to stop. Have I no faith, no trust in my creator? Do I really not believe that He has my best interest at heart? Do I really think that he is going to let me down? He hasn’t let me down yet; not once in my 21 years have I ever been truly disappointed by God. Yes, there have been moments when I don’t know where the heck God is going with my life, but time and time again, He prevails. He comes through for me. He saves me and restores me and renews me. 

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Since I have been home for summer break, I have been trying to reconnect with God, to get to that place where I had been with him before, closer to him. I have been trying read my Bible regularly, get more involved in church, reading books like Crazy Love and just trying to get a better relationship with him. With all of that, I still noticed that I wasn’t “feeling” him, I was doing all of this stuff, but I didn’t feel any closer. And then I remembered. Chris Owen said in chapel once “God is always with you, it isn’t always about feeling his presence.” As I thought about that, I tried to realize that this isn’t all about me and what I want. I need to be patient with God. I need to stop worrying about feeling him at a certain moment and continue to seek him and and worship him, even if I can’t always “feel” him with me. 

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